3.
The old oak smell in my chamber,
good as it's always been. I've been a fool.
Things never change and it's a fool's errand
to push away the only world I've known.
Floorboards creaks in embarrassment beneath your step.
The television plays the same tired advertisements on repeat.
Cupboards opened, emptied, littered with dust & garbage.
Pungent cold rot pries its way into your lungs.
Welcome home, user.

Crushed between distant desolate butternut walls,
The ceiling surrendered to its burden.
Pictures in remembrance of remembrance
Salty runnels pierce through the wooden
unforgiven floors
So all that remains is a set
of steps blooming ever up in spiral
Stay with me— Stay with my hollowed out heart— And show me the world I've missed— Show me the dreamy to start— And show the

Slithering lethologic vines
blooming upon your skin.
Spanning the width of many spread arms
into and out of weaving between
Daedal rain of red
>,_______________,^
Shedding  
Cried
Ruined
Once
Lived
Leaves
Over
____________________
Wispy
____________________
Nests
____________________
tendons and fat and split
fibres of muscles
by lamp-
-light of the moon
as moths drift
along gentle gusts of—
Sorrow O' Sorrow, my first and final friend.
'neath tarnished garbs I shelter
your warmly harshened pride.
Sorrow O' Sorrow, please never end
your beautiful Comedy of error
drank softly from your hand
[this space left intentionally full]
Sorrow O' wonderful Sorrow, glide into
my spine, my heart, exposed for you,
for me, for the world to see to.
Sorrow O' whispers of Sorrow,
bless upon me weakness and humility
so that I may shine upon my best day.
Sorrow O' Sorrow, breathe for me
so that tears may trickle with ease
down this sinner's cheek
[this space left intentionally full]
You've shown me what I am, my Sorrow
Given me a prayer for tomorrow
Allowed me lamentation for today
Sorrow O' Sorrow,
never leave me.
something best left less explored.

1.— It will snow soon, as it did last year.— I remember the sadness, from last year.— If I were asked "what's wrong?"— I'd refrain: "it's nothing".
 The mirror reflects me— Warped and twisted amalgam    of skin— The mirror of me cannot be me— Could not possibly reflect my still— Disgusting Monstrous mass that I pilot— My imitation of you— The lie I've built for you— The mirror reflectsme— the me   that isn't
2.
I reflected, in my study,
while snow fell heavy out.
I reflected, now, as I had then,
while suckling my pipe's amber spout.
as the path narrows and you step upon the spiral staircase upwards and upwards to nowhere the floor behind you crumbles to dust and dust and ashes and ashes that crawl below upon your soles into your soul through your lungs and under your skin through your pores it pours asking you to continue crawling ever upwards out of this lull continue to step up and up and up and up and up and up and up and how long must this climb take how long until I reach the top is there an end or has the spiral sent me unending upwards this spiral upwards how beautiful a spiral unending built just for you and me as strong as a spider's silk bring me ever upwards upwards bathe me in an inferno of exhaustion I must reach your end your fantasy you have sweetly transplanted within me I must reach into myself and pull the courage from sorrow and love from hate and remembrance from nostalgia and the self from the imagination of self tell the self that it is true and good and the world around it is working for it. Embrace myself in my own arms. Give myself the benefit of the doubt. Truly love myself for not the me I see in the mirror, but for the me I see in the distance. I thank the spiral for giving me a chance. Though daylight's shine lays far beyond my eyes, 6. And now, where has my sadness gone? I barely remember. If I were asked "what's wrong?" I'd refrain: "it's nothing".
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